Saturday, August 1, 2009

Crime and Punishment

cross-posted from my regular blog
After Hair-Cutting Disaster 2009 - that's what I've decided to call the event of Gracie snipping off her bangs, two weeks ago - Gracie hasn't been allowed to use scissors at all. She snipped her hair off with kiddie scissors, in case you were wondering how I could be bonkers enough to let my 4 year old use scissors. I thought I was being a smart mom by passing her an unused phone book and some scissors so she could perfect her fine motor skills.

But noooooo.... instead she hacked off her hair and I had to take the scissors away. And hide them. I just don't trust her anymore. Not to mention, I wanted her to learn her lesson in a way other than just having all the kids at the playground tease her because her hair looks ridiculous (that hasn't actually happened yet).

Needless to say, I really didn't expect to walk into my bedroom to go to sleep the other night, and find that Gracie had dug the kiddie scissors from their hiding spot and hacked up my bedsheets.


I'm not sure why she did all that. She said she cut the sheet because she wanted to see what was underneath it. That answer doesn't fly with me. As for her eyelashes... there is just no explanation for that, logical or otherwise.

I google-searched "How long will it take for cut eyelashes to grow back?" and found all sorts of eyelash Q & A (my favorite being - "I burnt my stupid eyelashes off trying to smoke out of a bong... how long until they grow back and is there anyway to make that process happen faster?" - is it wrong of me to laugh uproariously at that question?).

The unanimous answer: A long freakin' time.

As for punishment... it's really hard punishing a four year old. It really is. Time-out doesn't mean a heck of a lot to Gracie. Obviously, taking the scissors and hiding them doesn't mean a heck of a lot to her, either. And I've learned that taking her toys away also doesn't matter... "That means I can get more toys because my toy box is empty. I want that cupcake-maker from Target," she cheerfully informed me.

And it made me very, very nervous when she just took a look at my clean, folded sheets sitting in the closet and said, "Well, you have more sheets. You can just throw that one away and put one of those on the bed." That does NOT justify things, little girl!

So how did I punish Gracie? Will took 2 year old Annelie to the zoo and Gracie stayed home with me.

Did it work? Oh, YOU BETCHA. Gracie was completely devastated that she had to miss out on on a trip to the zoo. And of course, Will and I layed the whole, "Well, you would have been invited to the zoo if you hadn't cut the sheets" on pretty thick.

Annelie was pleased as punch. She got to feed the giraffes rye crackers and the ladies behind the snack bar gave her free ice-pops... and Gracie cried for about 2 hours.

Whatever. If she ever touches scissors again, I'm sending her to a convent in Spain.



  1. I hear there are some LOVELY convents over there.

    One of the two times in my life I got spanked was when I cut up some of the vinyl blinds (y'know, the single-sheet pulldown kind). My excuse was that I had run out of paper to draw on. Which was true. But I think even at the time I still knew it was stupid.

  2. ahahahahahahahahaaaaaa gasp omg ahahahahahahaaaa

    you are being tested my friend...its time for push-over mom to go hide in the attic and I'M THE MOM to come out

    when Tyler was 3 he got up one morning really early (like 5ish) and got into his dads work bags, found a big black thick permanent marker and proceeded to draw a line across the garage door, around the living room, across the top/back of the couch and down the hall...not only did he get all of his own washable markers taken away and put into a cupboard above the fridge, he spent the next 2 hours with a sponge and bucket of warm soapy water scrubbing the doors...the walls had to be repainted and a blanket became part of the back of the couch...

    you've definitely got your hands full

  3. Way to go, Mom! Mom 1, Gracie nil. At least it was a punishment that worked.

    That poor bong smoker. That was probably a total buzz kill. :oP

  4. Gracie said:
    Making little Gracie responsible was the best thing a mom can do. Wise mom! Children have to learn that their actions can bring pain to their mom and the key is to make them aware of doing things that does not hurt others.


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