Time to Stop the Yelling

Brayden usually wakes up early.
Like really early.
Like way before my alarm goes off, early.

Yesterday he did just that, creeping into my bedroom long before the sun was up to alert me of his wide awake AM presence. In my less than awake state I mumbled that he had a snow day and there would be no school and maybe he should go back to bed.

Instead he crawled into my bed, which was a bit lonely since the husband was already long gone and well into his work day, so his presence was welcomed.

Yesterday morning was spent with Brayden and I cuddling in bed.

I wanted to go back to sleep. He wanted to talk, seeing this as a rare opportunity to have his mom all to himself. Like most 7 year olds, he won and my eyelids remains open. We laid together in bed, his little body hanging onto mine.

"Will you play with me today, Mom?" he asked. "You never play with me anymore. All you do is yell."

I honestly didn't know what to say. Its a strange feeling when your child puts you into your place and your entire perspective shifts. Things in our house have been crazy lately. I've been tired, irritable, and unfocused. And I'm ashamed to admit it. But I am human and it happens to the best of us, doesn't it?

"Yes baby, I'll play with you today. Anything you want." I told him.

I tell my boys how much I love them multiple times a day, but often times I think that I forget to actually show them that love. Yes, I do the normal mom things like cooking and cleaning, but if you really think about it, to the eyes of a 7 and 3 year old, that's not a tangible way of showing my love for them. It's expected.

I'm guilty. I spend so much more time on my youngest son, dressing, cleaning, potty training, etc, that sometimes I expect Brayden to care for himself. And he should to a certain degree, but at the core of it all he is still a 7 year old child who needs his Momma.

"Lego's. I want to play Lego's today with you and build a huge tower. And you can't yell at me today."

And right there it is, repeated twice in the span of a few seconds. He's right.

I do yell.
A lot.

And that is doing absolutely nothing to help my child learn and grow.

"I won't yell at all. I promise. I'm going to try really hard not to yell anymore. But I need you to try too and be the good boy that I know you can be."

"I will, Mom."

There is going to be no more yelling in my house.

And as it turns out, kids are more receptive to being told to do something nicely than they are to being yelled at and have things demanded of them.
I know, right! Where was this tidbit of information for the past 7 years of motherhood?

It's going to be a trial and error process, and I'm sure that we will fail sometimes. But as of right now things are going well. But then again, I am only a little over 24 hours into the No Yelling family rule. Stay tuned to see how it turns out.