Saturday, June 13, 2009


I found out that I was pregnant with Brayden around three months before Mike and I's wedding. I wouldn't call it an accident, but it was certainly a surprise to everyone. I'd be lying if I said that I was in any way shape or form prepared, but Mike and I were excited... and scared, but mostly in awe of the little miracle that was growing inside of me.

It was 10 days later that I was in the hospital emergency room with severe cramping and bleeding. I was admitted to the maternity ward, pumped full of pain killers, and told that I was in the middle of a miscarriage. For 3 days I sat in that room, delirious from the cocktail of pills I was on, and cried. When I wasn't crying I was sleeping, dreaming about the face of my little baby that would never be. After a few days of pain and waiting for the inevitable I was sent home and told to "expect it when it comes and come right back to the ER when it did". Rather than expect it, I prayed. And somehow, by the grace of God, I have a happy and healthy little boy.

Both of my pregnancies were rough and hospital filled. I was on bed rest for 7 entire months when I was pregnant with Brayden and for 3 months when I was pregnant with Gage. With both children I had preeclampsia and blood clots in my womb. Everyday felt like a battle just to carry those boys and to nurture them.

My children are little miracles, and not a day goes by that I don't remind myself of just that. Mother's Day means something a bit extra special for me. I celebrate those lives that I fought for, that I dreamed of, that I cried over, and that I was told I would lose. I celebrate the fact that God made me a mother, even when I had lost hope.

I hope that all of you moms out there celebrated your little miracles too yesterday!

One of my absolute favorite posts, posted on Mothers Day of this year here.


  1. Wow, I thought I had it rough! My pregnancies were easy...deliveries...not so much. You have two very handsome miracles and I'm glad you made it through to tell the tale :)

  2. Very sweet post, Amanda! What little miracles these boogers are!! And Mother's Day is pretty much everyday, especially when they wrap their little arms around us and say, "I love you, Mama!"

  3. {{Hugs}} to you Amanda. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and it was devastating. We had the hardest time getting pregnant and had to get fertility testing prior to that.
    The pregnancies were rough, the labors easy, and the postpartum Hell, but I love my girls and they were worth it.
    Very sweet post and a great reminder to appreciate the children you were blessed with because some women aren't as lucky.


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