My oldest child has been a challenge thus far, mostly due to the fact that she's behind in her speaking skills, so it's been difficult to communicate with her. She's since been getting extra help from the school district and things have slowly been improving. But man, is that girl a freakin' drama queen!
At the last doctors appointment I took my kids to, their pediatrician gave me the usual lists of milestones and reading material. She highlighted one book in particular and highly recommended it. The book is called Temperament Tools by Helen Neville. She said it was great for learning about different temperaments and finding out which ones your child may have.
This book is awesome! It's very straightforward. I love that in the introduction, the author states that doctors have finally come around and proven what parents have known for years, that our children are born with certain traits regardless of what we do as parents to raise them. Two children, under the same roof, can and probably do have completely different inborn traits.
Then there is a temperament chart where you determine, through a couple of questions, where
your child falls on such things as the drama, adaptation and energy scales (just to name a few). If your child is an extreme for a scale, you can then just read the corresponding chapter that pertains to that child rather than sift through the entire book trying to glean the information you need.My oldest is a Tiganda Tiger which means she's slow to adapt and very intense in her feelings. In her chapter it explains how she sees things, and helps me, as a parent, try to meet her needs in a way that she'll understand and that won't drive me nuts. Telling her to stop doing something won't work. Since she's slow to adapt, the image needs to change in her mind before she can move on. Frustrating yes, but at least it makes sense now and I can be more patient with it.
I was able to get a copy of this book from my local library and I do recommend checking it out. It's a pretty nifty tool!
Seriously, sometimes I think you read my mind. I definitely have two very different personality types and I constantly have to remind myself of that. I was spoiled by having my first be SO easy going. Merrick is very quick tempered and that is such a change of pace for me. I'll have to check that book out. Thanks for sharing your find!
ReplyDeleteI have two high energy, quick to adapt, drama queens. Gracie is slightly more drama, but Annelie bites first and asks questions later, so she all around sucks (ie, is hard to handle)
ReplyDeleteI keep looking for that book. I can't find it!!
My oldest is quick to adapt but my two year old is so independant. Thanks for sharing your find! I'll have to check that book out to see if I can get a peek into my little guys minds :)
ReplyDeleteThey tell you your children will be different and that is true to an extent but I got two high energy, dramatic, climbers.
ReplyDeleteMy son is incredibly slow to adapt and sounds a lot like your DD. We are also in speech therapy and went through early intervention with him. He is so bad at transistions it is really getting to me lately. I will have to check out that book.