Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Yesterday was the closest this reality has hit home. You see, years ago Sissy had to have knee replacements (Yeah, don't ask how much that cost. Let's just say we're very lucky it happened when we didn't have kids!) in her back legs. Ever since, she's been battling with arthritis of one form or another. Yesterday, though...it was different. I had let her out in the backyard for a constitutional. A few minutes later, I hear a banging sound at the back of the house. What I found when I rushed out to investigate, was poor Sissy trying to use the back of the house to stand up. It was as if the whole right side of her body wouldn't work. At first, I was afraid of the worst...had she had a stroke? After checking her over, I realized her back leg had given out and she couldn't put any weight on it. As I struggled to help her in the house, SweetPea wandered over and asked "Mommy, what's wrong with Sissy?" I told her that Sissy's leg was hurt and she calmly walked to the toy room, then came back with her play doctor's kit and said to Sissy, patting her on the head, "Don't worry, ma'am. I'll give you a check up and help you feel better." All I could think was, "What if something is very wrong. What if it's something we can't fix?"
Luckily, with an evening of rest and a second dose of her arthritis medicine, she seems to be doing better this morning. That doesn't change the fact that one day, I'm going to have to explain to my four year old that Sissy's not going to get better...and that she'll one day go to the doctor's and not come back. SweetPea is such a tender heart, I know that she's going to take it hard and I'm going to have help her understand what it means when someone we love dies. Lil Buddy will have it a little easier. One day, his furry friend who he likes to sit next to and jabber at and sneak doggy treats to will be gone...and maybe he'll wonder where his friend went, but at two, he'll likely not understand that she's not coming home. But his sister will and that thought kills me...almost as much as it the thought of losing the only other being that has been with The Man and me for almost as long as we've been together.
I don't have any answers. I just keep praying that I can hold off the inevitable for as long as possible. I'm sure a lot of you have been in this situation and I'm hoping that maybe you can give me a little insight about how you have or would handle the same predicament.