When I was pregnant with my first child, everyone talked about how spoiled she was going to be. Not only would we the parents spoil her but her grandparents too. Obviously, they didn't know us all that well.
Yes, Peri was the first grandchild on my side and our first baby, but spoiling just didn't happen. I personally don't see the point in it. I didn't want my child growing up feeling like she's entitled to have whatever she wants when she wants it. I thought I was doing pretty good on this front. And then came the awkward reality.
On more than one occasion I've picked up a sad/upset Peri from preschool.
"Peri, what's wrong?"
"(so and so) has ______ and I don't. That makes me so sad."
"Peri, it's okay. You don't get everything that everyone else has. Be happy for (so and so)."
"But it makes me so sad because I don't have one."
"I'm sorry, it's not fair and that's okay."
I took Peri to a birthday party over the weekend. Oh fun. When she didn't win any prizes from Pin the Tiara on the Princess, she had a small meltdown. Annoyingly whiny, "But I didn't get a purse and glasses." "No, Peri, you didn't, but you can be happy for your friends that did." Then came the cake. The birthday girl had her own cupcake shaped cake and the kids had smaller cupcakes and ice cream. Peri bawled, "She doesn't want to share her cupcake with me!" "Peri, that's her special cake, here's yours. Be happy for her, it's her special day. When it was your birthday, you got special things, but it's not your birthday today." This one eventually ended with, "Do you want to go home? Then stop crying." Then came the presents. This one I was dreading, but it wasn't as bad as the cake. This whole thing made me glad I didn't just drop her off at the party. But it doesn't make me want to take her to any more birthday parties either.
Seriously, where did this entitlement come from? Just because someone else has something, why does she think she should have it too? I feel like I'm getting blue in the face trying to explain this to her; I'm trying to figure out a way that we can teach her it's not okay to react the way she is. We've thought of taking turns giving treats in the house, but I think in taking turns, she knows hers is coming so it's not a big deal. The whole thing is kind of embarrassing since no one elses' child seems to be having these breakdowns, just mine. I wonder if people think I spoil her. Has anyone else dealt with this? Help, I need ideas. Especially since birthday season is in full swing! Yikes! "No, don't worry, she always cries at birthdays."