Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I'm Sorry, I Didn't Quite Catch That....

image by cartodd

(Please read disclaimer - {by my mother, who worked in the voice recognition field for 15 years, making sure the products were as user friendly as possible}: "When phone applications are used correctly, and there aren't kids fussing in the background, they are very well designed applications." )

Okay, now on with my post.

Whoever invented voice recognition phone services clearly didn't take mothers with children into consideration. Seriously, every time I need to call my phone/internet company, my bank, my electricity company, credit card service... just about ANYTHING, my phone calls sound like this:

Automated Phone Answering Service (in peppy, cheerful automated voice): Welcome to -enter whatever company you are calling here-!
For Bill Pay, say "Bill Pay!" For Customer Service, say "Customer Service!" for Whatever else you need, say "Blahppity Blah!" - (or equivalent)

Me: Customer service

My Kids (in the background): MOMMMMMEEEEEEE! I want JUICE!

Automated Phone Answering Service (in peppy, cheerful automated voice): I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that... did you say "Mommeeeeeee, I want juice?

Me (irritated): NO, customer service.

My Kids (in the background): MOMMMMMMEEEEEE, Annelie is hitting me!

Automated Phone Answering Service (in peppy, cheerful automated voice): I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that... did you say, "Mommmmmeeeee, Annelie is hitting me?"

Me (very annoyed): NO, customer service!

My Kids (in the background): MOMMMMMMEEEEEE, Can I watch Barbie and the Diamond Castle?

Automated Phone Answering Service (in peppy, cheerful automated voice): I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that... did you say, "Mommmmmeeeee, Can I watch Barbie and the Diamond Castle?"

Me (ready to break the phone): CUSTOMER SERVICE!

Automated Phone Answering Service (in peppy, cheerful automated voice): I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that...

Me: CUSTOMER SERVICE!

Automated Phone Answering Service (in peppy, cheerful automated voice): I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that...

Me: CUSTOMER FREAKIN' SERVICE!

Automated Phone Answering Service (in peppy, cheerful automated voice): I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that...

Me: ARRRRRRRRRGH!

(Slams phone down and screams at kids for being too loud)



Just typing out that conversation gives me rage issues. Seriously, hearing that cheerful automated voice makes me want to smash my phone to bits every time I make a phone call.

Now, I'm going to be completely honest here: it wasn't always like that. When my kids were smaller and quieter, the automated voice on the phone was actually kinda nice. It was like a friendly person I could talk to when my babies were napping and I was kinda bored in the afternoon. And I didn't even have to make small talk - unless you consider saying, "Bill pay" small talk, which I don't.

But now, with kids - who don't nap and always feel like they need to blast me with their requests the second they see the phone up to my ear - automated phone services are on the list of Marisa's Top 100 Least Favorite Things in the Universe (sandwiched between dirty diapers and people-who-cut-in-line-in-front-of-you-and-then-smile-at-you-like-they-think-they-are being-cute-instead-of-rude. But that's another story...).

ARRRGH!

Okay, vent over. I feel much better now!

xoxo,

3 comments:

  1. I had a post a few weeks ago about the evils of the automated system. Seriously, every single one needs a "press zero" option from the beginning.

    "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Perhaps you don't speak English. For Espanol say ocho."

    Grrrrrr.

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  2. I've had this happen to me...over and over. The last two times we lost power I had to call three times just to report the outage because the background noise kept screwing with my responses....grrrrrrrrrrr

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  3. LMBO!!! I have had the exact same experience too many times!

    ReplyDelete

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