Monday, August 10, 2009

Motherhood is a Condition

No really, there are symptoms and everything!

Condition: Motherhood

Symptoms: sore throat, watery eyes, insomnia, shortness of breath, shortness of patience, mood swings and irritability. Symptoms can be mild to moderate and sometimes severe. Studies have shown a direct correlation with the temperament of the child. Mothers of multiple children may also suffer from insanity.

Root Cause: French kissing. For some reason, pregnancy and childbirth were the end results.

Prevention: The only surefire prevention is devotion to a nunnery but this video is also very effective...

Treatment: For those who have already succumbed to The Motherhood, early and aggressive treatment is key. You may find relief using some of these: personal time-outs, chocolate, screaming into a pillow and the occasional martini. Symptoms are likely to come and go with the passing of time, but rest assured, most symptoms will clear up all together in about 18 years.
Bottoms up!

Originally posted 4/30/09 on Winklepots and Random Thoughts


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