Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Come on...I DARE You

Here's a story...of a mom and daddy
Who were bringing up a lovely boy and girl
One late night this mom and dad...went to the movies
Where mommy wanted to get all Dirty Harry on some stupid parents' assess...

I guess that doesn't really rhyme, does it? I bet you're wondering what could've possibly inspired me to rewrite Brady Bunch theme song lyrics and dig up an old picture of Clint Eastwood slinging a REALLY big gun. This is in fact, a little tale about an annoying trip to the movies...and my personal plea to all of you to NOT be these parents.

Rewind to a night two weekends ago...The Man and I had the rare occasion to go on a late evening movie date to see the latest Transformers flick. It was a 10:00 PM showing...of a PG-13 movie...so imagine my shock when not one, but THREE parents waltz into the theater with kids, who I can guarantee you were no older than my very own, three year old SweetPea. My first thought was, "Why are these kids still up?", quickly followed by "Why are these parents bringing their kids to see THIS movie?" The Man and I looked at each other and just shook our heads. Once the movie started, I got more and more distressed...this Transformers was racier, filled with much more cussing and violence than the first one...and all I could ask myself is why none of these parents were walking out of the theater with their little ones. Sorry, I take that back, about an hour into it, one of the kids fell asleep (big surprise) and Mom finally had some sense to take the kid out. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that one of the offending families decided to sit right behind us...and we got to hear their poor little guy get tired...then cranky...then start to fidget and later whine about wanting to go home. What does mom do? She smacks him, then tells him to be quiet and to sit still. Enter the Dirty Harry thoughts.

I just don't get it. Trust me, The Man and I are movie buffs and yes, it would be nice to be able to hop right out to the theater any time we wanted to, but the reality is...we have kids...and they come first. It's downright rude to other movie goers and completely thoughtless to your kids to drag them out to a 3 hour movie that isn't age appropriate, regardless of the time of day. The sad thing is, it isn't the first time we've seen this happen. Back when we were a young married couple with no kids, we went to see Saving Private Ryan and who did I find sitting next to me in the theater...some Dad and his seven year old. All through the movie I glanced over to the little guy to see the look of complete horror on his face. What kind of bonehead thinks it's OK to bring a first grader to a graphic reenactment of a World War Two military massacre? The movie gave ME nightmares and a migraine. I can only imagine what it did to this poor kid.

From me to you...PLEASE think before you take your kids out to the movies. Think to yourself...is this movie appropriate...will my kid be able to sit through it...is it something maybe I should see first before taking my kid to see it...will the world be better off if I just wait for it to come out on DVD...will Alyssa turn around and strangle me with her bare hands if I bring my kid to see it some late night? Don't say you haven't been warned!


  1. A-freaking-men.

    Also, if you are going into the movie and going to discuss it, loudly, while others are trying to watch and hear, don't be surprised if you "accidently" end up with a coke in your lap.

  2. I so hear you! I won't even get started on the fact that the parents even brought the kids out at that time of night to see that type of movie then wonder why the school sends home notes regarding inappropriate behavior.

    My pet peeve is the kicking. Why do parents not stop their kids from kicking the back of seats? The same kid that will get smacked for telling Mommy they want to go to bed gets nothing for kicking the back of my seat. *getting down off soap box*

  3. I am aghast! I haven't been to the moving picture show in awhile. But, I remember seeing the movie Copycat with Harry Connick, Jr. (I just checked that was 1995 -- oh I was single then, maybe I was on a date) And there were some kids there, I couldn't take my eyes off of them because it was so freakin' scary and I couldn't believe they were there. I see society has made great progress in 14 years. Ahhh, 1995 I think my cell phone was the size of a brick back then.

  4. I had a comment, but it seems to have disappeared. I have to ask: "cussing" is that a regional thing? I haven't heard that since maybe the movie Steel Magnolias.

  5. I don't get parents letting their kids watch stuff that's not for kids either. The neighbor kid told mine one day well I'm going home we are gonna watch drag me to hell. He's around 12. I also know of people who have let
    their smaller kids watch the exorcist. Another one I won't even watch. Sometimes you just gotta wonder about people.
    Oh, and I still say "cussing". : )

  6. Amen, hallelujah, and I couldn't agree more! Kids are wonderful, movies are wonderful... but when I went to a showing of Rob Zombie's uber violent (and awesome if you like that sort of thing) Devil's Rejects and someone brought her kids who were probably five and seven? I wanted to punch her in the face.

    Peace & Love,

  7. I was going to say "swearing" but that seemed so dated :) You mean everyone doesn't say "cussing"???

  8. I'm not gonna lie.. I'm the snitch that goes to the theatre workers and reports the loud and annoying people. I just can't stand them.

    Also I was PISSED as a mother and movie-goer, when I went to see Twilight at the midnight opening-night showing... and there were little kids! WTF???? That is ridiculous.

  9. Grrr, pet peeve. If I'm going to pay for a sitter and spring for a movie, all of the other parents better do the same. Or you'll make me grouchy and be forced to out you publicly.

  10. "Swearing" dated -- nice one. Hey, speaking of movies, I got a poster at Target this weekend. 101 Best Movie Quotes -- care to guess #1. I'll post the answer here tonight. Let's see how all you child-free movie goers do!

  11. Hmm, how about "go ahead punk, make my day?"

  12. I took my 13 yr old to see Transformers 2 at a Tuesday morning matinee a few weeks after it opened...I knew that we'd probably be the only people in there and we were =o) I can't stand going to the movies in the evening or on weekends anymore...people are rude & loud & texting & kicking chairs & talking & annoying ...I'm not going to waste my money to listen to the same bs I can hear at the grocery store

  13. Here you go, #1 Movie quote: "Frankly my Dear, I don't give a damn." Gone with the Wind (Excuse the cussing)

    Dirty Harry was #51

  14. Saving Private Ryan...are you kidding? My husband really likes the movie so I have seen it multiple times, I still have only seen the opening scene once, when I saw it in the theater the 1st time.

    I always go Dirty Harry when I delibrately go shopping at Wal-mart late at night (so I don't have kids) and there are crying over tired children with parents who don't seem to understand that small children often don't do well grocery shopping after a three hour nap much less at 10:30 at night.

  15. I couldn't imagine. Me and my mom went to see Iron Man 2 just last night 10pm and there were kids there.

    Now that Aidan is 3 1/2 and Kayley is a very patient 2 yo (who does very well sitting for a long time in my lap) we are thinking about taking them to an age appropriate, daytime showing of a movie. And I will be more than prepared to take one of the kids out of the theater if they start to act up.


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