Sunday, July 19, 2009

Beautiful

Its taken me a long time to figure out what feeling beautiful actually meant. There was a time when I was younger, a teenager, that I had an hourglass figure and boyfriends who wanted to be with me, but I was not by any means beautiful. Beautiful, as it has turned out in my life, is not something that can be found in the pages of a magazine or at the counter of an expansive makeup stand.

Today I'm wearing size 16 jeans, with stains all over them, a shirt that at one point in time used to be a dress but fits me like a shirt thanks to the spare tire I carry around my waist. I have on a tatty old bra that I love that somehow makes my breasts, who have dropped about 3 inches thanks to nursing two babies, back where they are supposed to be, or at least close enough. My hair is tied up in a messy knot on the back of my head and my face, in all of its natural glory, is totally bare. And I have never felt more beautiful.

Its an inward type of beauty now though, a beauty that cannot be seen by simply looking into a mirror. Its the beauty that can only be brought out by having a tiny someone in your life that needs you, depends on you, and loves you unconditionally can bring.

I'm a mom. A wonderful beautiful mom.

xoxo,

7 comments:

  1. Awww! I know exactly what you're talking about. I used to think that beautiful was having my hair in a perfect bouffant formation with the right amount of red lipstick. Now beautiful for me, is being covered in half digested green beans, hair not having been brushed in days, wearing a soaked bra holding my poopy pants baby. Thanks for writing this. Its always a good reminder of what beautiful is. I so often forget.

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  2. RIGHT ON! And when one finds beauty on the inside...it shows on the outside. Love this post.

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  3. I think there is more beauty in a confident, comfortable-with-themselves person than any other kind.

    I used to be totally superficial... thinking that I had to have my MAC makeup applied perfectly, my $100 haircut styled just right... but wow was I wrong. My kids don't notice the difference. Not even my husband seems to think there is anything wrong with how I look when my unwashed hair is pulled back into a pony tail and my sweats don't match, and my shirts have sticky peanut butter around the collar where Annelie is prone to hang.

    And seriously, I feel way more beautiful surrounded by my family than I ever did when I wore fancy makeup and actually washed my hair.

    And as for weight, I firmly believe that moms who whittle themselves down to a size -2 just look wrong. I WANT to have boobs and hips! My kids don't want to cuddle a skelemom.

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  4. What a beautiful post, Mandie :) I used to be annoyed that my husband called me beautiful more often when I just get out of bed than when I was dressed and put together (pre-kid days, even). He told me it was because I wasn't "trying" to look good. He likes that. Although, I do admit I'm in a better mood when I have make-up on :)

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  5. I have to say, there are days where I'm a mess and look all dumpy and Amelia will look at me and tell me I'm beautiful and it's the best compliment that I could ever get! Thanks for reminding us all to remember that our beauty is beyond how good our hair or clothes look on any given day.

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  6. Such an awesome post. There are times I feel that, when my son tells me I'm the "best mommy ever". But I have to work on my inner mom a lot more.

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