Monday, December 6, 2010

The Queen of Everything

'Tis the season... for family road trips, and the very thought of being cooped up in a car with my kids for any stint longer than 2 hours, makes me cringe. At three and six, they aren't quite the ideal travelers yet. But, like I said, 'tis the season, and it was time to buck up, pack the car and head to my in-laws for Thanksgiving. A twelve hour drive, by the way.

We woke the kids at 5 am, paired rain boots with their jammies, brought their blankets and hoped that they might go right back to sleep once we were on the road. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. A mere half hour into the trip, Peri started whining, "Mommmeeeeeee, My bum hurts, I need candy to make it feel better. I want to go to Grandma's house, why aren't we there yet? I can only sleep at Grandma's house, not the car." And so began the loooooooong ride ahead of us.

Being the super together mom that I am, I prepared the kids' backpacks with fun things for the trip (a first for me, I'm not normally thoughtful like that). I packed each bag with coloring books, crayons, books to read, a couple of small stuffed animals and a small goodie bag. When the kids got tired of watching dvds, and to ward off any continual whining, I pulled out the backpacks. This only led to, "Mommmeeeee, She won't share her books! I want the Alice coloring book! Mommmeeeeeee, my care bear fell on the floor, get it!!"

Halfway into the trip, I was so fed up with the constant whining of "Mommmmeeeeee" that I decided right then and there to change my name. I whipped around in my seat, stared the girls down and said, "Mommy is no longer my name. You cannot call me Mommy anymore. From now on, you can call me Queen of Everything. I won't answer you if you call me anything else."

They both sat there, stunned, until Ryah started:
"Nope, that's not my name."
"But Mommmeeeee-"
"Ryah, you can't call me that."
"Hmph, uh, queen, um, hmph... Daddy..."
Hey, whatever works right? ;o)

Peri got the hang of it and called me Queen of Everything for the rest of the trip. Somtimes, she'll still call me that and it just makes me smile.

So after becoming the Queen of Everything and spending a full day in the car with my kids, I've decided that the next car I buy will be a limo. Yup and I'm going to keep the soundproof barrier up 90% of the time. A mom can dream right?


  1. I know people think I'm a horrible parent for it, but I'm telling you, buying a portable DVD player was the best thing we ever did. We drove from Boston to Houston with 1 1/2 year old Amelia...three days thank you...and the DVD is how we coped. We used it when we drove to Disney World this past spring. I don't care how many brain cells of theirs I've fried, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Books and crayons only go so far when you're cooped up for 12 hours.

  2. Queen of Everything,

    You are brilliant for that. My mom had me call her the Queen when I was kid. Also, dude. 12 hours. That is horrible.

  3. Oh, we had the dvd player. When they were no longer distracted by it, I pulled out the backpacks. And Marisa, that's 12 hours one way. Horrible horrible horrible. :oP


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