since I've been whining about it since last week), I've been a little sidelined. I had ankle surgery on Thursday and have been on crutches ever since. My Mom flew in from Boston last Wednesday to help us around the house. I have to admit, it's been really, really hard for me to ask for help.
Maybe it's because we rarely ever have anyone to help us. Maybe it's because I'm too proud to ask for it, but I don't like asking for help. When each of the kids were born, I had someone around to help me day to day, but more often than not, I was running around the house still doing what needed to be done because I wanted to prove to...well who knows who I was trying to prove it to...that I didn't really need help. This time, it's different. Being short one leg to stand on, I need help. I need help to drive, I need help with the kids, I need help around the house. It's been a lesson hard learned. Of course, I'm still hobbling around trying to "prove" I can still do things on my own, but the truth is, it takes me twice as long or eventually I have to give in and ask for help anyway. What can I say, I'm hard headed. I'm having to live with seeing things put where they normally don't belong or having things done in a way I wouldn't have done myself. You have to know that's killing me. But at the end of the day, the world's not going to end because underwear isn't being folded the way I would do it or because the bath towels aren't in the exact spots where I normally put them. I have to keep telling myself "it's...O...K."
Seriously, I should be soaking in all of the help while I have it. Come next Monday, my Mom goes home and I'll have to deal with it all on my own. At least by then I hope to have ditched the crutches and have a walking cast on. In the meantime, I just have to live with the fact that I...need...help.