Friday, July 17, 2009

The Adventures of Fat Baby; Swings, Bouncers, and Bumbos


The first words out of the doctors mouth upon pulling Charlie's head from my surgery stricken stomach, were "boy hes got a lot of hair!", shortly followed by "hes a big boy!", followed by "its a boy!", which I thought we had already covered? And I guess Charlie was kind of big, a little less than 8 pounds, but kind of short, coming in at only 20 inches. So not extremely large for a newborn by any means. But. I had no idea what I had in store in for me...

Here we are, at 6 months old, with the fattest baby on the planet. I love fat babies, don't get me wrong. I love to squish their chubby cheeks, and tickle their sticky rolls, and blow raspberries all over their ooey gooey tummies, but... providing for a fat baby, that's a whole new chapter.

One day fat baby was lounging in his swing, not moving. He was moving (kicking and squeaking, doing all that cute baby stuff), but the swing wasn't moving. The swing was turned on, the music was playing, he just wasn't swaying like he should have been. My husband said something like "it needs new batteries again?", and I said something like "geez". A totally casual conversation that neither of us payed much attention to. We have a lot of those. Later that day, or maybe it was the next day, while my husband was gone, I put fat baby into his swing, turned it on, and walked away. Upon my return, I saw that fat baby, again, wasn't swaying. Hmm. Now that I wasn't distracted by the computer, or trying to eat lunch, or whatever it was that I was doing the day before, I could really asses the situation. It didn't take me more than 5 seconds to stumble on the realization that "oh crap, the swing isn't moving, because hes too heavy to move". I turned the swing up as high as it would go, gave it a nudge, and sure enough, fat baby was rocking back and forth and falling asleep in no time.

And then I noticed, when I put fat baby into his bouncer, he sunk. Poor baby. He sunk so low that bouncing was no longer an option. He could still play with the dangly toys, but bouncing was out. Are you kidding me? Whats the weight limit on this thing anyways? ...25 pounds. What?! Why would somebody play such a cruel joke on me! Wait, if the weight limit is 25 pounds for the bouncer, whats the weight limit for the swing?? WHAT?! 25 pounds?! WHY! Then whats the weight limit for the bassinet that hangs in his pack n play? Whats the weight limit for his Jumperoo? Whats the weight limit for his walker that hes not even gotten to use yet?! ...all 25 pounds.

*Insert fuming mother here*

I'm not mad that my baby is fat. I love my fat baby. I'm mad that all babies aren't that fat, and I get the crap end of the deal!

So all at once, I look around at fat baby's wonderland of toys. The toys that keep him entertained when my arms need a rest. The toys that let me finish the dishes. The toys that his sister insists on playing with, even though shes too big for them and has way cooler toys. Hes not quite 25 pounds yet, is he? I look at fat baby, who is smiling up at me and yanking on the loose ends of my ponytail. Even with handfuls of my messy hair in his chubby little fists, I can't help but turn to mush when he giggles. He is definitely 25 pounds. But hes 25 pounds of pure angel, that's for sure. And the weight limits on those things, really, its not like the dang thing is going to snap in half as soon as the kid gains another pound, right? I sent the bouncer and swing to a toy cemetery that I like to call Craigslist, but the Jumperoo has got to stay. And now hes coordinated enough to play in his exersaucer, which has a 32 pound weight limit, so thats a life saver. That buys me another week at least :)

But my very favorite of all of fat baby's seats? His Bumbo. Not just because he looks ridiculously cute when stuffed into such a tiny space, and not just because it always seems to give him the hiccups, but because when fat baby is in his Bumbo, I have to literally pop his legs into place. Like clicking a puzzle piece down. His legs are larger than life, and don't drift easily into their grooves. And when picking fat baby up out of his bumbo, I have to put my foot down on the seat to hold it into place, otherwise the Bumbo comes off the ground with him. This is much harder than it sounds, by the way. The first few times this were hilarious, as I'd hold him in the air with a seat stuck to his butt, but quickly turned into nothing more than annoyance as every time I was in a rush, I'd end up flinging the empty Bumbo halfway across the room while prying it off of him.

So whats a Mother of a fat baby to do? Love her fat baby, sell all of his baby toys, even though he is still a baby and just too big in size to play with them, and buy a new Rainforrest themed high chair with a built in toy center and a much higher weight limit.

Maybe next week in the Adventures of Fat Baby, we can talk about trying to stuff a 6 month old into size 18m clothing, or maybe how strong your left arm can get simply by holding fat baby for 15 minutes while stirring a pot of boiling noodles. Stay tuned. Because we have so much to talk about.

20 comments:

  1. I didn't have fat baby (though she was chubbier than my first), no, I had active baby. She LOVED her stand-alone jumper and would jump forward then backward as fast as she could. She hadn't reached the weight limit yet, but one day, during her bouncing, we heard a pop and she had popped the plastic piece right off the side of the bouncer. It flew across the room. Sad sad day when we had to lay that bouncer to rest.

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  2. I had a fat baby too, he's now 17! The jumper was my life saver for the short few weeks he could fit into it. I remember him getting stuck in some type of hand-me-down horse bath seat, I thought we'd never get him out of it. Once we did I sent the darned thing into orbit!!

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  3. I so feel you. My two youngest have both been over 9 pounds at birth. Right now I have an 8 week old who wears size 3-6 months....and is too big for a cradle carry in my slings. But she doesn't have the neck control for other types of carries yet. Fun stuff, no?

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  4. Winklepots, thats so funny about active baby breaking the jumper! Kind of scary, but too dang funny, hehe.

    Tina, oh that reminds me! I totally forgot about the special fat baby bath tub we had to get for him, hahah. Awww, poor fat baby, hehe, getting stuck. But good for you for throwing the stupid seat!

    Tiffany- YES, I know exactly what you're talking about! I think we carried our fat baby in the baby bjorn, which really only worked 50% of the time since I had to constantly hold his floppy head in place every time I bent over. Baby wearing is twice as hard for mothers of fat babies.

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  5. Aw poor fat baby and his mom. I had 2- my first was 10-4, my second 9-12. They both got too huge for the jumper thing before they ever had a prayer of holding their head up well enough to sit in it. The nice part is fat babies don't know what they are missing, they are just little happy angels usually.

    The sad part- when they get older and are too big for kiddie rides or playground things long before they are too old to play on them. They know what they are missing at this point and it is hard for them to understand. My youngest got too tall for the McDonalds play area before he ever started school. Mom's on the playground would scold him to be careful around their kids, which would make me so sad because he was the sweetest little boy.

    Charlie is so cute! I want to pinch his cheeks, neither of mine will let me do that anymore.

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  6. Poor big guy...pushing the weight limit! It's weird, my Amelia was born at only 6lbs, 14 oz. but by 6 months she was 95th percentile in height and weight. OK, she wasn't as big as Charlie, but she was chubby...until she hit two feet...then all of a sudden she turned into a string bean. At 3 she's still 75th in height but barely 15th in weight.

    He sure does look cute in that Bumbo though :)

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  7. hehe Tia your fat baby sounds like Tyler when he was little; he was 7lbs 1oz & 19 inches...newborn clothes were to big and then within a few months nothing in his age/size fit, we were usually 2-3 sizes ahead...his uncle use to call him fat boy and I'd say hes not fat! he was fat...he was short & chubby until just a few months ago...buying jeans for him was awful...if they fit around him, they were too long...he has always been such a sweetie though!! oh! and we loved the bouncy seat that hung in the doorway...my dad put up 2x4s to help support his weight =o)

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  8. Aw, I love fat baby. Any baby with 11 elbow joints is my kinda kid. Seriously, that is the cutest thing ever. And that picture in the bumbo chair... please tell me you will frame that. I'm in love.

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  9. HALLELUJAH I'm not alone! My son was 10 pounds and daughter was 9-8...weight limits have alwys been an issue. But I'm with you, I just LOVE LOVE LOVE all the juiciness that is a fat baby...there is nothing else like it! My son is now 28 months old and weighs 40 pounds and is 38" tall...my girlie is 10 months, weighs 28 pounds and is about 33" tall...wouldn't trade them for little babies EVER! Plus, I'm building up some good muscles!

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  10. well Tia it looks like i could have a fat baby as well. Kylan is one month and over 12 pounds and all he eats is breast milk.

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  11. I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

    Lucy

    http://toddlergirls.net

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  12. I was reading this cause i am looking for a swing that will last throughout the first year, so I was looking for something over 25 lb, can you guys give me some advice please, I would love to know if there is anything that is worth its price, thanks!

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  13. I remember when my husband ask me if I wanted to have a baby,, but I knew we had a problem, so we buy viagra after to prove all the benefits this medicine can give us. like a couples we talk everything, and now we finally have our kids. The last baby have a lot of blanked that my husband buy for him. I think he doesn´t know how to say happy he is in this moment.

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  14. argh--why does everything have to be 25lbs? My sweet happy 23lbs 4month old loves his jumper, bouncer, exersaucer, etc. More importantly, won't nap anywhere except for his swing which needs new batteries weekly. What is a mom supposed to do?? Your baby is beautiful, I love that picture!!

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  15. its like this was written by me! My baby is so roly poly thar i cant even get her into her bumbo..at all

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  16. First of all, don't ever call your babies, fat, they are not fat, they are healthy, remember that the words really have power.

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  17. Oh lord @Alinna. The baby is fat. Fat and cute. I called my second child fatty all the time (well, bc he was lol) and he is a string bean now. So much for the "power" in those words... lol. This country is nuts about their politically correctness!!! BTW, totally cute fat baby. That Bumbo pic? Too sweet!

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  18. My daughter had a big baby too, I actually stumbled across this blog trying to find a swing that went over 25lbs. I too had large babies my daughter was 10lbs 9oz and her brother was 11lbs 9oz. Chubby babies just seem happier...lol

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  19. i too parent a huge baby - 4M and 22lbs. sigh. i have the exact same experience w/the Bumbo. it is nice to know i'm not alone. thank you thank you thank you for posting and loving your big baby. i sure love mine!

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