Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Potty-Training Diaries

On the pot, with a watercolor goatee.
Yes, my kid eats paint. Such is life.

Day 1

Dear Diary,

Annelie actually wants to be potty-trained. Most moms would be jumping for joy right now, but as I can practically smell all of the pee-soaked accidents in the days ahead, I'm dreading this whole potty-training thing. Let me tell you a little something about me: I hate potty-training. Diapers are so much easier to change, than pee is to remove from carpets and the couch.

Day 7

Dear Diary,

Wow, a week has gone by and Annelie is doing fabulous. About 90% potty-trained. She is highly motivated by the all-natural fruit snacks she gets after doing her... business. Especially as I call them candy so she thinks she is being spoiled, rather than blasted by Vitamin C.

Whatever works.

Day 14

Dear Diary,

What. The. Heck???

Annelie was having a tea party in her room, with her dolls today. "Hmmm... that's strange," I thought. "I didn't give her a cup of water to play with."

Yeah, that's because she's feeding her dolls a cup of warm pee.


Looks like all that potty-training success from last week is quickly being flushed down the toilet... or soaked into the carpet.

Day 22

Dear Diary,

From 90% trained back to diapers, only this time, Annelie wants to change them herself. Whenever I have my back turned. In the shoe closet.

I hate my life, sometimes.

Neener, neener. You can't potty-train me!

Day 30

Dear Diary,

Annelie is back to being mostly potty-trained, but she has to do EVERYTHING herself, which means that one trip to the bathroom takes about 25 minutes.

If I turn on the light as she walks into the bathroom, she screams, "No, I TURN ON THE LIGHT!"

Then she has to move her step-stool over to the switch, turn the light off, then turn it back on again, then move the stool over to the potty, climb up by herself, and proceed to unravel an entire roll of toilet paper, all the while yelling, "I do it!"

Heaven forbid when I accidentally flush the toilet without letting her get to it first. Or turn the water on to wash her hands. Or absentmindedly turn off the light, or shut the door before she does.


Day 40

Dear Diary,

Relapse again. During nap time when I thought she was sleeping. Only this time, the relapse was of the solid kind. In her toy box. While she was sitting in it. And then she decided to play with it. Her hair, her face, her toys, the carpet and walls. Why? Why? Whyyyyyyy?

And why did we have to have a house-guest visiting from out of the country when this all went down?

I did not sign up for this and I demand a refund.

Day 45

Dear Diary,

Back to diapers. Annelie's choice. I am not arguing this one. After going through an entire pack of Pull-ups without one successful trip to the potty, I can't handle the price anymore. I think it is wholly unfair that Pull-ups are double the price of diapers. All they are, are glorified diapers without stick-tabs. And with a dancing Dora on the front.

Day 50

Dear Diary,

I think Annelie has forgotten what the potty even is. I know the saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again..." No thanks. I'd rather not have the smell of pee in my carpets or on the couch, thankyouverymuch.

Maybe she'll just wake up potty-trained like Gracie did a year and a half ago. As she is my difficult, strong-willed kid, I wont hold my breath.

Oh well. We'll try again next month.



  1. Wow, you've got it rough! I thought I was in for a super battle to the death, especially since she started her training just after Merrick was born. We had a week of rebellion but as soon as she saw her friends in Montessori learning, she was all for it. Two days later she never went back and has been dry, even through the night, for almost a year.

  2. Sometimes I dream of being a mother. This is not one of those times. I especially like the "getting blasted with vitamin C" and the pee party. The only thing funnier than this post is the fact that it's all recorded for pulling out during Annelie's awkward teenage years; you know, when you start telling her "I can't wait until you have kids..."

  3. I've got a bottle of tequila if ya want it!

  4. Alyssa... yeah, just you wait until Merrick starts. 2nd child syndrome, remember? Gracie potty-trained herself... even through the night. No accidents.

    but Annelie... whole 'nother story.

  5. My first was WAY difficult. Just one of those things that she had to do on her time and there was no pushing her. I'm not interested in training my second either, but since my oldest daughter's willing to do it, I'll let her. :oP

  6. I feel your pain. I'm thankful my boys are past this stage now. I had so many giggles at your post!

  7. I feel your pain woman! Gage would rather pee in the corner than in the potty. I'm done with scrubbing pee out of the carpet, we're back to diapers at the moment too.

  8. Ohhhhhhhh dear. I'm so scared. Maybe we'll do naked days outside on the lawn. We have a lot of carpet in our house. Ugh.

  9. Hillarious! This sounds way too familiar. I'm going through this right now with my youngest...and have been for the last 6 months. Why is the second child always so difficult?

  10. Marissa your post cracked me up, especially the toybox...I felt your pain

    when I was potty training my now 13 yr old son, he refused to pee in the toilet...until I started dropping skittles in there & had him aim...he was 3...I have a picture of him sitting on his potty chair hating me lol...I was so happy that it was summer time during pt training and he could run around naked in the backyard and pee on the trees lol

  11. "I have a picture of him sitting on his potty chair hating me"

    hahahaha! I bet that picture is hilarious!!

  12. OMG!! I just laughed and laughed and laughed when I read this because I can so feel your pain. In the last month I have cleaned up 3 of the solid accidents off my floor and I don't know how many wet puddles because my youngest does not want to wear anything on his booty and he just wants to go wherever he is standing. Unless, of course, he thinks of the potty and then sometimes he'll run into the bathroom and pee in his musical potty. I put a diaper on him, turn around, and find him naked a few minutes later. I hate potty training.


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